Posts Tagged "pet"

Goodbye, Jerry.

Posted by Dad on Mar 6, 2008 in Family, Parenting | 0 comments

Three years ago, at the school festival, my son and daughter won a pair of goldfish.  You know the type.  I think they call them feeders now but were “goldfish” back when we were kids.

I can’t remember the game right now but I do remember looking into the booth where the fish were.  What seemed like thousands of fish bounced around old 20 gallon aquariums.  Young kids and volunteer parents scooped them up into plastic bags and would give them out to the kids as prizes.

“What a massacre,” I remember thinking.  “These poor fish won’t last a week with these kids.” 

I looked over and saw goldfish in plastic bags being crammed into tiny pockets, left on the floor while kids went on rides, swinging this way and that as the kids ran.  I found it amazing that a Catholic school could not see what we were doing to these poor creatures.

With over 30 years of fishkeeping exprience, I helped my kids set up a semi-optimal environment for the fish.  The kids learned to take care of them by feeding them and alerting me when the water needed changing. They even named them, “Jerry and Goldy”.  And, along we went for three years.  The fish swam and my kids would remember to look at them at times.

Well, Jerry passed away earlier this week.  Of course, I spotted him floating first and made quick work of flushing him to a watery grave before the kids saw him.  I then stayed quiet.  I’m not sure why.  Too chicken to tell the kids and have their hearts broken, I guess. Or, I thought, maybe they wouldn’t care?

“What happened to Jerry, Dad?” was what my son said as I walked into my room after a long day at work.  I froze and turned to see him standing in front of the fish bowl staring at me.

Putting on a brave face, I told him Jerry had passed away and was now in a better place- heaven.  He was old and goldfish don’t live too long.

My daughter put up a tough face and didn’t say anything.  My son did too, initially.  After a few minutes, this little eight year old couldn’t hold it any more and he broke out into tears. 

“Why did he have to go?”, “I’m starting to forget him” and “I want him to come back!”, were the things I remember him saying.  His little heart was broken and he was hurting.

We tried to put him to bed. It was late. But shortly thereafter, he got up and asked if he could color so that he could stop thinking about Jerry.  He drew the following pictures. Bless him.

I think what hit him the hardest was not that his fish died, but the shock of death.  This is the first time he’s had to deal with it and it “ain’t” easy.  We, his parents, helped him as much as we could but in the end it’s up to him to come to grips with it. We all do at some point.  It shocks us, we rage against it, we run from it, but… with time… we learn to live with it.  We are all here for a time and then we’re not. 

My son just began to learn that lesson.  In so doing, he’s reminded me to appreciate every day.

All the best