I remember the magic of Christmas when I was a child. I remember the feeling of awe and wonder. I remember those wonderful smells and warm clothes. I believed unquestionably in Santa Claus. To me, he was absolutely real and I adored the way he would show his love for me and kids everywhere by leaving a treasure trove of toys. Wonderful toys! It was truly magical.
My kids feel that way now, I think. I can see it in their faces. At least, Big Guy does. Whenever he thinks of Christmas he beams, his smile expanding to take up most of his face. On the other hand, I think my daughter, Big Girl, is hiding the fact that she has figured out that Santa is a figment of the collective imagination. I think her classmates burst her belief last year but she’s chosen to stay quiet for fear of less gifts. Whether she truly believes or not, she too is giddy with anticipation once December rolls around.
And so, this makes the struggle the CPA wife and I are going through so much more painful. Should we continue to lie to them?
The kids are 9 and 11 afterall. We don’t want their classmates who know the “secret” to tease them for still believing.
But, at the same time, we love to see them chock full of wonder and excitement for the holidays. It seems so cruel to us to tell them we’ve been lieing all along. Big Girl could take it but Big Guy would be crushed. And, that would crush us.
Anyone have any advice? Have you gone through the same struggle?
All the best
P.S. I don’t mean to give the impression that we’ve raised our kids to only focus on the gift giving. We have taught them the reason for the season and they will always have that. In fact, I’ve really taken to heart the wonderful message that www.adventconspiracy.org is carrying. I don’t like to impose my religious beliefs on anyone else. I respect you too much and feel you are entitled to whatever you believe. However, the message of not focusing on consumption and to give presence (instead of presents) to me resonates tremendously. I hope it does for you too. Here’s the video that hooked me:
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Heya!
I am actually going through the same thing with my kiddo right now… He knows Santa doesn’t exist and actually told some of his friends… And he is 4yo…
I really don’t think is fair to lie to the lil guy! Well I am not really a big fan of xmas for a series of reasons, but my wife is a huge enthusiast and thinks we should keep up with the farce… See my dilema??
Problem is that the boy now takes advantage of the truth playing which everside is more convenient at the moment… Trouble…
Hey UV,
It does look like trouble! LOL
How did he realize that Santa doesn’t exist?
Wow, that is a really tough one….and I dont’ look forward to dealing with it in a couple years. I’ll be watching the comments to see what others say.
Deconstructing Jen´s last blog post..there goes my hero
Ah, I remember this well. We’ve got teenagers and an under 10, and the telling or not telling is tricky. The oldest girl has always been “magic” and truly believed until 13. The middle knew by the time she was 9 but we didn’t want to spoil it for the youngest.
A phrase we came up with that helped us stop “lying” but kept the magic going was this:
“Some people say Santa isn’t real, but I like to believe in magic. It is the idea of Santa I like, whether he’s real or not. What do you think?”
Some said no, some said yes but they got to make their own choice. The skeptical ones insisted on an answer, and when I knew they knew, I’d pull them aside and say “I think you know the truth, but it’s okay to keep the magic going for your brother – you got to believe for a long time.” By then, they were old enough to get that it wasn’t a lie, really, just a wonderful story of childhood and tradition.
The oldest kept the tradition alive as long as she possibly could, and still says she believes in the idea of Santa.
Good luck!
juliejulie´s last blog post..Well Hello There…I’m back
I am struggling with the same issue (and wrote a post about it on my site). The problem is that my 7 and 5 year olds keep asking for things that “Santa” just can’t deliver… like “the space suit that will let me fly to DisneyWorld by myself!” So as much as I want to keep the dream alive, I’m not sure how long it will last. And they are still so little!!!
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Er, hey there!
I’m eleven and I’ve known “Santa” isn’t real since I was about seven! My mum or dad didn’t tell me – I saw ‘em putting presents under the tree! When they saw me on the stairs, they told me the whole story; “Santa” is made up so younger kids can enjoy Christmas even more! But I know the truth and anyway, the way my parents told me was kinda like this:
1. Sit on Daddy’s knee (he’s now Dad).
2. Listen carefully as they tell you the truth.
3. Finish with a kiss and cuddle.
Those three simple steps were good enough for me. They didn’t crush me or anything even close to that – I just carried on life normally, in fact I could say I was even happier ’cause I knew I had honest, truthful and loving parents. After all, they only told me the truth ’cause they cared about me and didn’t want to lie to me…
So, want my advice? Tell your kids – it’s better if they know the truth! I may only be eleven, but after all, I’m a kid – I know what I’m talking about! Thanks, I hoped this helped.
Er, hey there!
I’m eleven and I’ve known “Santa” isn’t real since I was about seven! My mum or dad didn’t tell me – I saw ‘em putting presents under the tree! When they saw me on the stairs, they told me the whole story; “Santa” is made up so younger kids can enjoy Christmas even more! But I know the truth and anyway, the way my parents told me was kinda like this:
1. Sit on Daddy’s knee (he’s now Dad).
2. Listen carefully as they tell you the truth.
3. Finish with a kiss and cuddle.
Those three simple steps were good enough for me. They didn’t crush me or anything even close to that – I just carried on life normally. In fact I could say I was even happier ’cause I knew I had honest, truthful and loving parents. After all, they only told me the truth ’cause they cared about me and didn’t want to lie to me…
So, want my advice? Tell your kids – it’s better if they know the truth! I may only be eleven, but after all, I’m a kid – I know what I’m talking about! Thanks, I hoped this helped.
Er, hey there!
I’m eleven and I’ve known “Santa” isn’t real since I was about seven! My mum or dad didn’t tell me – I saw ‘em putting presents under the tree! When they saw me on the stairs, they told me the whole story; “Santa” is made up so younger kids can enjoy Christmas even more! But I know the truth and anyway, the way my parents told me was kinda like this:
1. Sit on Daddy’s knee (he’s now Dad).
2. Listen carefully as they tell you the truth.
3. Finish with a kiss and cuddle.
Those three simple steps were good enough for me. They didn’t crush me or anything even close to that – I just carried on life normally. In fact I could say I was even happier ’cause I knew I had honest, truthful and loving parents. After all, they only told me the truth ’cause they cared about me and didn’t want to lie to me…
So, want my advice? Tell your kids – it’s better if they know the truth! I may only be eleven, but after all, I’m a kid – I know what I’m talking about! Thanks, I hope this helped.
Hey y’all!
My parents told me the truth straight away – when I was five! They didn’t want to lie to me and I totally respect that. I’m proud to have honest parents who love me. I think it’s best to tell your kids as lying to them isn’t the best thing…
I’d hate to be lied to as a child. After all, they look up to you as role models and lying isn’t setting a very good example, is it? No, so why do it? Hope this helps. And I hope your kids understand (that’s if you decide to tell them)!
Hey. Just wanted to say I think it’s awful to ruin a childs idea of santa. I never had christmas because my parents didnt believe in it and when I have children they are going to have the biggest, most magical christmas i can possibly give them. I didnt understand what christmas was until i was about 10. now at christmas i get really sad because i wish i had that magic to remember too. how can you take that away from a child? when your children are grown up do you think they’re gonna remember you telling them about how the presents got there or the innocent magic of christmas they looked forward too all year. nothing could be worth giving that up.